Introduction: Taking the First Step Is Brave
Feeling sad, anxious, lost, or just stuck in life? The best way is to talk to a mental health therapist who will help you feel better, gain clarity, and start healing. Now, how do you find the right therapist?
Finding a therapist may feel scary or confusing, especially if it’s your first time. But don’t worry.
Let’s break it down simply, step by step.
Why Therapy Matters?
Because you can talk about your feelings, struggles, and life experiences. A therapist is trained to listen and help you work through things like:
- Anxiety or panic
- Depression or sadness
- Stress at work or school
- Family or relationship problems
- Grief and loss
- Trauma or painful memories
- Feeling lost or unmotivated
Therapists don’t judge you. They don’t try to “fix” you. They teach you steps to understand yourself.
Step 1: Know What You’re Looking for
Before you start searching, take a moment to ask yourself: “Why do I want therapy right now?”
Your answer may be simple or complex. e.g.
- “I’m feeling anxious all the time.”
- “I just lost someone I love.”
- “I want to stop arguing so much with my partner.”
- “I’ve been feeling really low and don’t know why.”
Knowing your reason helps you choose the right kind of therapist. Just like doctors, therapists have different areas they focus on.
Step 2: Learn the Types of Therapists
There are many types of mental health professionals. Here are a few:
| Title | What They Do |
| Psychologist (PhD or PsyD) | Offers talk therapy and does testing. |
| Licensed Counselor (LPC, LCPC, LMHC) | Offers talk therapy for all ages. |
| Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) | Specializes in couples and families. |
| Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) | Provides therapy and helps connect you to resources. |
| Psychiatrist (MD) | Can prescribe medication and may offer brief counseling. |
You don’t need to know everything about these types. Just look for someone who offers therapy in the area you need (like anxiety, grief, or relationships).
Step 3: Choose Your Preferences
Think about what would help you feel more comfortable:
- Do you want someone of a specific gender? Some people feel safer talking to a woman or a man. That’s okay!
- Do you want a therapist who shares your faith or values? Many people find comfort in seeing a faith-based therapist.
- Would you prefer online or in-person sessions? Online sessions can be done from home. In-person may feel more personal.
- Do you want therapy for yourself, your child, or your family? Some therapists work with kids, couples, or families. Others just see adults.
Step 4: Start Searching
Now it’s time to find names and options. Here are 6 ways to start:
1. Ask Your Doctor
Your primary care doctor may know good therapists in your area.
2. Use Online Directories
These sites let you search by location, issue, insurance, and more:
- PsychologyToday.com
- TherapyForBlackGirls.com
- GoodTherapy.org
- Open Path Collective (affordable therapy)
- ChristianCounselors.com
3. Ask for Recommendations
You can ask friends, family, or church leaders you trust if they know a good therapist.
4. Use Your Health Insurance
Visit your insurance company’s website and search for covered therapists near you.
5. Check With Your Church or Ministry
Many churches partner with faith-based therapists or offer referrals.
6. Visit Local Counseling Centers
Some areas have mental health centres that take new clients for free or low cost.
Step 5: Look at Their Website or Profile
Once you find a few names, visit their websites or online profiles. Look for:
- What they specialise in (e.g., anxiety, grief, couples)
- Their approach (e.g., faith-based, trauma-informed)
- Where they offer sessions (online or in-person)
- Their education and license (this shows they’re trained and safe)
Most therapists write a short paragraph about their style. If one says, “I believe healing is possible with faith and compassion,” and that feels right to you—that’s a great sign!
Step 6: Contact a Few Therapists
It’s okay to reach out to more than one therapist. Many offer a free consultation, a short call (10–15 minutes) where you can ask questions like:
- “Do you have experience with anxiety/grief/trauma?”
- “Do you offer faith-based counseling?”
- “What does a typical session look like?”
- “Do you take my insurance?”
- “How soon could we start?”
This helps you get a feel for the therapist before committing. You’re allowed to wait and think about it!
Step 7: Try a First Session
The first session is usually about getting to know each other. The therapist will ask questions like:
- “What brought you to therapy?”
- “How have you been feeling lately?”
- “What are you hoping to work on?”
You don’t need to share everything at once. Just go at your own pace. The first session is a safe step forward, not a test.
Step 8: Check How You Feel
After a session or two, ask yourself:
- Do I feel safe with this person?
- Do I feel heard and not judged?
- Do I feel like I can be honest?
If the answer is yes, that’s a good fit!
If not, it’s okay to try someone else. The right therapist is like finding the right pair of shoes—it may take a couple tries, but once it fits, it makes a big difference.
Signs of a Good Therapist
Here’s what to look for:
- Listens without interrupting
- Shows kindness and understanding
- Helps you feel safe and supported
- Respects your values and beliefs
- Doesn’t push or rush you
- Enables you to set goals and make progress
Red Flags to Watch Out For
Not every therapist will be a good match. Watch for these red flags:
- They seem distracted or uninterested
- They don’t respect your boundaries
- They talk too much about themselves
- They push advice without understanding
- You feel judged, shamed, or uncomfortable
If this happens, don’t be afraid to find someone new.
How Long Does Therapy Last?
There’s no set time. Some people go for a few months. Others stay longer. You get to decide when you feel ready to stop or take breaks.
Conclusion: A Special Kind of Care
If you want your faith to be part of your healing, look for faith-based counseling.
At Ahava Counseling & Consulting, for example, women receive faith-based support that respects both their hearts and beliefs.
Take the next step in your healing journey? Visit Ahava Counseling & Consulting to schedule your free 15-minute consultation today. We’re here to walk with you, gracefully and faithfully.
You Deserve Support
Finding a therapist can feel big, but it’s worth it. You don’t have to stay stuck, sad, or overwhelmed. There are kind, trained people ready to walk with you, like us at Ahava Counseling & Consulting